Doctor's orders....

Went to see my doc on Wednesday for follow up after my last blood work. I'm teetering on anemia apparently. She said the range for women is 12-300 (quite the range IMO!) and my level was 17. She said that it can cause depression, anxiety and fatigue being low in iron so that might be my problem! So, now I'm on daily iron supplementation and I have to get re-tested for blood work in 3 months and she said she wants to see it above 50 by then. I've never had iron supplements before, I hope they don't make me constipated MORE. I have enough trouble with the bathroom since my surgery!

Also, she said she didn't want me losing any more weight. She thinks my weight is fine where it is. I think I can do another 10-15 lbs and still be healthy so we'll see. I told her that I feel pretty good, other than fatigue mostly. My anxiety is up and down depending on stress. I don't handle stress well and find myself easily overwhelmed. She wants me to really focus on getting my exercise in which will also help with all of the mood and fatigue too. I know I need to exercise, and actually I have a trainer that called me so I will get going on that too.

Things have been hectic

I'm seriously slacking lately on this blog and really all of the places with my online presence.  I didn't even do my 6 month weigh in and measure.  I haven't weighed in a couple of weeks.  I have really no desire to step on the scale at all.  I might be up, I might be down... I just don't give a crap frankly.  My clothing is all hanging off me so its a good thing I think. 

My mother in law has been in town a week now and she's going to be here another week yet.  It's not that I mind her staying with us but I feel out of place in my own home when we have guests.  I feel that I have to always check on them, entertain them, not just veg out in front of the tv... A couple of weeks is a long time to feel displaced in your own space.

As well, we own a rental property.  Our renters bailed on their lease and are exiting it early.  Now we are in a mad dash panic to get the minor cosmetic repairs done and get the place sold before the end of the year.  Not easy to do in the land of perpetual cold and winter.  Siding a shed in near freezing temperatures sucks the big one.

I feel stressed out at work lately.  Some days I think that I'm pretty damn good at my job.  Other days, I can't believe they pay me to do this when I clearly have no freaking idea what I'm doing.  It's a battle with my own insecurities of being good enough.  I'm the type of person always looking for approval.  I don't know why.  Maybe it was my lack of a real father figure growing up.  Maybe it was living in fear from an abusive step father that beat my mom all the time.  Maybe I'm just a needy person because I just AM and its not a product of my environment.

The deadline to move to Vancouver is ever quickly approaching.  I think I have resigned myself that we're definitely moving there but it stresses me out with all the things we need to do between now and March to make that happen.  We have 2 homes to sell, a new home to find, and then getting my transfer and actually MOVING to a new province, new city... I've never lived anywhere other than where I grew up.  It is stressful and exciting all at once.  This opportunity to have our move paid by the Canadian Military won't come up again so we need to capitalize on it while we can.  I just wish we had a little more time....

Lastly, I've been fighting this cold/flu that's running through my office for the last week or so.  I've been absolutely exhausted with a sore throat on and off the whole time.  I wish I didn't give a crap about my job and more about my own health so I would take a sick day.  There's just so much to do.

Anyway, there's more but I feel like I'm just whining now so I'll end with a ... HAPPY FRIDAY TO EVERYONE!!!

Memory/concentration/focus

I haz none.

In the past couple of weeks I've been really struggling to maintain my mental faculties.  I'm pretty new in my department and I have a very technical job, it scares me because I find my retention really poor lately.  It's as though my brain just stops before it even starts thinking.  It starts at " I know I need to think about this..." and that's as far as it goes. I can't even get to the stage where I can't remember.... hell I can't even START thinking about remembering!

I'm afraid I'm going to burn the house down.  Driving even makes me nervous as my attention span is really poor right now.  I'm sure that its related to my diet and that I must be deficient in some things.  I just wish I knew what it was and what I could do to change this.

First moment of nausea happened today.  With the exception of fatigue, I'm feeling more and more like my old self (pre-surgery) and I took a big swig of apple juice I had been nursing all afternoon.  Big mistake.  I didn't bring it up but boy did my sleeve tell me I'd overdone it!  Lesson learned dear sleevey. Match and point.

In other news... stitches are out! Yay!  Didn't hurt either.. just a tiny pinch and they were all out in a matter of a minute. Doctor reminded me that I'm not allowed any heavy lifting for 6-8 weeks as I can tear the healing done inside me. Also got a note for the time I was off work.  I didn't think to get one when I was having surgery.  Since I was off over 3 days (I was 4 days), they require a dr note to credit sick leave otherwise I'd have to use my vacation time.  So now I have a note.  Granted its not from my surgeon, but I don't see why it wouldn't be acceptable.  I had surgery, I had to recuperate, I needed the time off.

I know I'm only 10 days out but I really want to exercise.  I hope this fatigue sorts itself out soon.  I'm so over feeling so exhausted all the time