gnocchi = the devil

I am in freaking LOVE with gnocchi.  Like... holy shit.

I tried it for the first time after we moved here to Vancouver.  I'm so glad I didn't know about it pre-sleeve because oh my hell its so yummy.  My fav is cooked with a cream sauce including pees, ham, mushrooms.... mmmmmmmmmm  so freaking yummy.

[url]http://www.foodnetwork.ca/recipes/Pasta/recipe.html?dishid=510[/url]

A "sleeved" work around today....

Our branch manager brought in fresh hot donuts for some great results on month end today. 

I really wanted one but didn't want to actually eat a donut.  So I got a honey glazed one, took a bite, chewed it to mush just so I could get the flavour and then spit it out. 

Now I have a donut with a bite out of it sitting on my desk that I don't want anymore!


:D

ZEE heart... it burns!!!

I've been having alot of heartburn lately and I haven't been able to pin down what's doing it just yet.

Examples...
Tonight I had 1 slice of cheddar cheese (old) and 3 medium sized shrimps with cocktail sauce for dinner.   Heartburn.
Earlier today, I had 2 tablespoons of tuna salad (made at home just with miracle whip and pepper) on plain saltines for lunch.  Heartburn.
Last night, I had 1 vietnamese spring roll for dinner.   Heartburn.

Not sure what the common denominator is just yet.  Anyone with suggestions, please, chime in.

I do not take ANYTHING for acid up to this point.  This is new-ish... probably last month or 2.

1.25-ish years post op.

I'm still able to eat anything I want.  In moderation.  A bite of something my head or mouth wants.  Most often though, they want PROTEIN... I just want MEAT.  Give me sliced meat wrapped around cheese and I'm a happy girl.  But, when I don't have that (for whatever reason), Sleevie keeps me honest if I'm not being honest with myself.

I've noticed a few changes in recent months.

I'm now able to drink a "few gulps" of water. .... I wasn't able to drink more than 1 mouthful at a few minute time up to a year out without feeling nausea.  Now I can do ... gulp, gulp, gulp.  Usually that last gulp leads to a bit of that full burpy nausea though.

I can eat a TAD more now than I used to.
I ate for dinner tonight for example:
1 whole grain flatbed hamburger bun with 1 slice meat, 1 slice cheese, 1 tsp pineapple
It took me about an hour to eat both sides of the bun which had the condiments split btwn them.

I still avoid carbonation and frankly do not miss it at all.  Haven't had anything (except a few sips here and there) since surgery over a year ago.... I really don't miss that at all.  Surprisingly!

I've managed my weight loss of 91 lbs relatively easily so far.

What do I do?

• I walk 20 min per day.. fast.
• I (unintentionally, unconsciously) keep my calories around 1000-1200 a day thanks to sleevie
• I still focus on protein being the main source of everything I put in my mouth (with some exceptions of wine lately)

What I want to do?

• Become STRONG.  I'm going to start Hot Yoga with a friend.  I loved it the few times I've done it in the past.... I might not be the most flexible or coordinated but dayum... I feel like a million bucks after I've spent an hour (or more) in that hot room sweating and stretching!!  Hot yoga is my strengthening start.
• Work on more conditioning.  I walk fast every day to and from work (1 km each way) but I'd like to see more cardio.

After Yoga... I have a ball, a mat, a roller... I will (plan to) get a few hand weights.... I've had dreams *literally* of the workouts I plan to do using my own body weight in the area around here as well as the cardio that I can do in this area... there's so much uphill walking available to me within a couple of minutes of here that I need to take advantage of!

Mindful eating x10000000000

Sometimes I miss being able to eat the way I used to.  Eating now has a whole new process and it requires full time attention or I risk getting physically ill.  It's unpretty.  Tonight a single strawberry was my undoing.  I only had the strawberry but apparently I didn't chew it well enough because it easily made a re-appearance.

bleh!

mmm yum yum

Hubby made Shepards Pie for dinner.  With a twist.

Mashed sweet potato over creamed corn and ground hamburger with bbq sauce.


SO. GOOD.

I love watermelon.  It's yummy, juicy, sweetness good.  It feels good going down.  Sleevie likes.

more food....

Dinner tonight we went out to Joey's seafood.  Hubby had 3 pcs of Halibut breaded and friend, coleslaw and a 1/2 a plate of fries. 

I ordered this.  I ate 1/4 of the pc of salmon (the other 3/4 is in the pic), 1 pc of the roasted potato, 1 french fry and 1 tiny bite of baked beans.  I was stuffed.

Meal sizes

THIS is what hubby had for dinner (and what I used to have). He had already started on his chicken.  Notice the extra large plate.

This is what I had the same night... the small version of the same plate set with alot smaller serving

things and thoughts

My monthly visitor hasn't been too awful at all.  I actually forgot to change my Divacup this morning before work and managed a clean spill free change in the ladies room stall.  It seems that my flow is lighter.  Not sure if that's from the surgery or just lucky for me *this* month but I'll take it.  I'm definitely going to monitor it for next month and see if its the same.  Cramps haven't been too bad this month either. Hubby checked the scale for me yesterday because there's no way in hell I want to weigh myself when I feel like a manatee.... he compared it to the pre-period number and apparently I only gained 1 lb this month.  This is major.  I usually gain 5-8 lbs in bloat and feel super gross.  This month I honestly don't.

Weird how things change post-op.  I have a bag of chips (twists) and a dark chocolate (90%) bar in my desk.  I have zero interest in eating either of them. They've been there for a couple of weeks now. Pre-op, they wouldn't have made it INTO my desk at all.  They would have been scarfed pretty quickly right after I got them.

I've graduated back to coffee now post-op.  I can only get in about a 1/3 of a cup before I'm jittery.  I don't even fill my mug up half way.  People look at me strange and ask if the decanter is empty.... nope!  I just don't want that much coffee!  Pre-op, I was ADDICTED to the Sugar Free Rockstar Energy drinks.  I had 1 every single morning on my commute to work.  I haven't had one sincea few days before surgery.  I don't even crave it. 

I'd say the loss of food/sweets/etc craving is probably the biggest overall thing I've noticed.  I mean of course I know that I can only eat a few tablespoons of food now but really... its the cravings that have me surprised.  That there aren't any.  Even alcohol.  Pre-op, my liver was well exercised.  Now, while I'd *like* a glass of wine here and there, I have really no interest in bothering with the possible weight gain/dehydration/quick effects... so I don't.

Last night we went to a going away party for my personal trainer.  She's off to Alaska to run a gym up there.  She's been kicking my ass for 2 years and I'll miss her as we became friends even through those grueling 1 hour sessions 3x/wk.  They had all sorts of food, alcohol and the like at the party.  As I hadn't had dinner yet, I had 3 thinly sliced pieces of smoked salmon, 1/2 pc cheese, 1 multi grain cracker, 1/2 pickled string bean and about 6 nuts.  I was stuffed.  I was pleased with myself for my good food choices.  While I would have totally been all over the BBQ later that appeared, (hotdogs, bbq salmon and chicken) I honestly didn't want it because I was satisfied with my meal and feeling good.  Everyone else around me was eating and drinking it up and I was absolutely fine to sit there and just enjoy the company of the people instead of hovering over the food table grazing all night.  What a change!

I puked at work

Mindlessly eating has been my downfall today.   It's not that I ate something bad for me.  Or that I ate too much.  I had a mini pita pocket with a few slices of deli meat in it.  I ate 1/3 of it.  But I ate it while reading.  I didn't chew like I needed to, I didn't take tiny bites like I normally do.  I took larger than normal bites, I chewed it a few times and gulped it down. 

Then it sat there right at the middle of my ribcage like a searing hot poker.  I massaged it there.  Sometimes that works.  I've learned in the past that drinking definitely does NOT help so I didn't go there.  2 minutes.

I barely got "can you watch my stuff" out of my mouth before I was running.  Its amazing how far the bathroom is when its an emergency.  I emptied my poor lil sleevie into the porcelain god and stood there spitting like crazy.  Those damn slimies that accompany this episode of stupidity to remind me that I did it to myself....

Thank everything that is worth anything... no one came into the bathroom and witnessed me voiding my stomach contents.  I would have been the talk of the office for months that I *must* be pregnant! 

fish, religion and jello

Candied Salmon.

MANNA FROM HEAVEN.

I'm telling you.  It's the best thing sinced sliced bread (I don't eat bread), since Jesus wore sandals (I'm not religious), since indoor plumbing (thank God... wait I'm not religious),  since jello. Yes.  The best thing since Jello.  But jello is one of those enigmas to me.  I CANNOT make it without that nasty hard shell it gets on the top and bottom from too much gelatin in the same area.  I don't get why other people can make jello and it turns out with the yummy jelliness goodness throughout.  Ah... jello shots.  That must be why.  Alcohol.  Oh alcohol how I miss thee.  Alcohol and me = fatness.  Bad.

Yes today is once of those randomness days that shock me into realization that I need to learn my new "normal". The normal that doesn't involve eating.  Bizarre.

A TYPICAL FOOD DAY

Breakfast :
1 Protein Shake 2 scoops
(Pro Performance Low Carb, Low Fat = 170 cal, 40 g Protein, 1g Carbs, 1g Fat)
1 cup Soy Milk

Snack: 1/3 c coffee with 1 regular sugar cube

Lunch : 1/3 cup of Chicken in a can mixed with Low Fat Mayo, spread on 1 Romaine lettuce leaf

Snack: 2 medium strawberries

Dinner: 1/2 Chicken Breast with bbq sauce, 1 floret of broccoli (or yam/cauliflower)

Snack:  Sugar free popsicle

Note: This is ALOT of food for me.  Usually I can't finish it all.  The denser the protein I'm eating, the less I need to fill up my lil 3 oz Sleevie. It takes me 20-30 minutes to complete my meals.

accountability

Over the weekend while we were camping I had some potato chips and I had 3 alcoholic drinks (clamato and vodka).  My guts weren't happy and I regret it immensely.  I spent a fair bit of time in the bathroom when I got home last night as a result. Sleevie was NOT happy.

I gained 1.5 pounds.  Back to 201.  I regret it and I'm back to clean eating today.  I know its not actual fat gained because I still wasn't eating near the calories I would need to in order to gain REAL weight but its disheartening anyway as I was hoping to see a lower number when I got home.

Lesson learned.  Stick to proteins first, if there's room, veggies.  Avoid carby items as they go down way too easily ... and that includes alcohol.

3 wks post op

I don't really have much to say.  Scale is being a cow and hasn't moved in 2 days.  I suspect it will before the weekend.  Or, I could be up for the dreaded 3rd week stall.  Time will tell.  I'm still happy at how much I've lost thus far :)

Something I've observed about this journey is that I actually think about food MORE now than I did before.  In a different way though.  I think about what I'm going to be able to eat at each phase, if I'll be able to get down more than a couple spoonfuls this next time.  I think about being mindful of not drinking while eating.  And I think about drinking my water, ALL THE TIME.  I feel like I should have a camelback attached to me at work so I can get all the liquid in me that I need to each day.  I am wary to move onto full solids although as of today I can.  I've had a few things that I've chewed the crap out of and had it sit in my sleeve like a rock.  It's very painful and unfun.  I know that there's still swelling going down and it will improve over time, but of course, I'm impatient.

I tried the Chike brand of meal replacement today.  Meh.  It was ok. It is very flavourful, maybe TOO flavourful actually.  I had the orange cream one and it tasted kind of fake.  Took me all morning of sipping on it to get the whole thing down.

yummy yummers

I made dinner tonight for hubby and I had a few bites for dinner too.  I made whole wheat pasta with tuna and Parmesan cheese in it.  It was fantastic.  Hubby INHALED it and kept MMMMMMing.  I got about 3 spoonfuls before the pain started and I had to burp.  I think burping is my full signal. I chew everything to mush and swallow little bits at a time but I still get gassy.  I'm not swallowing air so I guess I'll go with the full signal.

updates

Feeling pretty good. 2 1/2 (ish) weeks post op. Tiredness is starting to subside. Mentally I'm ready to get back to the gym but I don't know if I can handle it physically yet. Going to give the treadmill a try tomorrow I think. I'm ready to start exercising again.

Weight loss has been pretty steady.  I'm averaging a pound a day.  Some days I lost nothing, others I lose double the amount so it all works out to aboyt a pound a day.

I've been having a hard boiled egg every day for protein. And because I like them.  Yesterday I tried some cheese.  It didn't sit so well.  I also had chicken salad, it wasn't too bad.  Sliced up some pickle into it, I liked having the crunch!  I'm averaging about 500-600 calories a day.  I could easily forget to eat all day.  It's weird to have this feeling.  I'm never really hungry, more like I sometimes have a hollow type feeling so I'm taking that as my hunger cue.  I'm still not able to eat more than about 2-3 oz of anything either.  Getting in my water is a little harder these days now that I've moved to soft foods.  With the sleeve, they don't want you to drink 30 min before or after eating so when you're trying to get in the calories and protein for the day, its hard to fit the water in as well.

SOFT FOODS!

Today is soft foods!  Well... technically I gave it a try last night.  Didn't go so well though.

Last night hubby was pushing to go to a Vietnamese restaurant so we went.  I had 1/4 of a salad roll, 1 bite of a chicken wing, 1 wonton in soup with about 2 spoonfuls of soup.  I was stuffed and pretty uncomfortable actually.  I had my first heartburn since starting this journey.  Had to down a couple of Tums before bed.

Tonight for dinner I had a 3oz filet of sole and 1 broccoli floret.  I'm stuffed.
So weird to eat so little and be full.  Soft foods definitely feel different in my new tummy. It hurts a little swallowing even though I chew to mush.  It will take some time as the swelling continues to go down.  It's the same feeling I had day 1 post op when I was trying to sip water.  It got better so I know this will get better too.

First moment of nausea happened today.  With the exception of fatigue, I'm feeling more and more like my old self (pre-surgery) and I took a big swig of apple juice I had been nursing all afternoon.  Big mistake.  I didn't bring it up but boy did my sleeve tell me I'd overdone it!  Lesson learned dear sleevey. Match and point.

In other news... stitches are out! Yay!  Didn't hurt either.. just a tiny pinch and they were all out in a matter of a minute. Doctor reminded me that I'm not allowed any heavy lifting for 6-8 weeks as I can tear the healing done inside me. Also got a note for the time I was off work.  I didn't think to get one when I was having surgery.  Since I was off over 3 days (I was 4 days), they require a dr note to credit sick leave otherwise I'd have to use my vacation time.  So now I have a note.  Granted its not from my surgeon, but I don't see why it wouldn't be acceptable.  I had surgery, I had to recuperate, I needed the time off.

I know I'm only 10 days out but I really want to exercise.  I hope this fatigue sorts itself out soon.  I'm so over feeling so exhausted all the time

yummy yummy

Hubby made turkey and mashed potatoes for dinner last night!  It was sooooo good.
He cooked up some lean ground turkey and mixed it with mashed potatoes and pulvurized it with the hand blender.  Heaven.  All I needed to make it complete would be some cranberry jelly!