I feel really run down lately and as though life's stressors are weighing on me more than they have in a long time. I'm not sure how much is my surgery (although I doubt any of it really is) but more how I'm handling stress. Stress at work, at home, with my renters, with my marriage, my dog, my brother, my friends. I feel as though I'm not coping well like I was able to in the past.
I'm not really sure what this means exactly other than perhaps I need to give my anti-depressants another shot. I hate that I might need to take them forever but I constantly live in fear that perhaps this is the one bad/sad mood that I can't pull myself out of on my own and I'll be back into a deep depression once again.
I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all the time and I shouldn't be. I feel alone and I know that I'm not. I think I'm having difficulty with seeing the glass being half full. I have much to be thankful for, my weight is completely manageable and almost within the healthy range, my skin is better, my asthma is better, my knees don't click anymore....
But instead I am focusing on the things going wrong and that are hard right now and I'm waking up every day exhausted, irritable, and scattered.
Something needs to be done. I just don't know what it is.
I am sorry your going through a rough time right now, if you ever have to vent just let me know, I recently went through a rough patch too.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we all have to realize that we need the assistance of medicine to help us through. I don't think that is a bad thing, anymore. I fought against taking meds for years. It really and truly makes us function and prioritize better. Do it for yourself. And always continue to vent. We are on your side and rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteJudy, (Losinmyweigh)
I always feel that way in the fall/winter- lack of sun! Perhaps add in some extra vitamin D.
ReplyDeleteI just had my sleeve done two days ago. Great to read through your blog!
Depression isn't something you can bootstrap yourself out of. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain. If your pancreas wasn't making insulin, you wouldn't feel like a failure for needing medication, would you? Your brain has serotonin issues. You've heard me make this argument before, Cheryl. Nurse Denise firmly believes in better living through chemistry. Why make yourself suffer if you don't have to?
ReplyDelete