Wowee its been months!

So things haven't changed a ton since I last posted other than I'm more aware of how much I'm drinking and I'm doing alot better with that.  I'm replacing alot more wine with water these days  :)

I guess the true test that things are going well and uneventful is that I didn't even post when I hit my 2 year anniversary!  I am still maintaining, still dreaming of body reconstruction, and lastly still critical of my body.

This surgery will not change your perception of your body no matter how much you think it will.  Sure, you might not see the same number on the scale as you did months/years post-WLS but you WILL still see the same thing in the mirror.  Make no mistake about that.  You will go from seeing fat, to seeing the skin left over from your fat.  It affects your body image.  It affects your size in clothing.  It affects what you *think* you can do because you feel as big as you did pre-op.

I really want any pre/newly post/post WLS patients to read over and over that paragraph above.  You may think "it won't happen to me!"  I guarantee, it will.  Maybe not in the first year when you only have wins but outside that... when you stop losing and move to maintenance... be aware this WILL happen at some point!  I didn't think so myself, but it did as did many others.

Over 2 years out from my sleeve... I still do not drink any carbonation and I still try to keep protein as my first choice.  I don't always make the best choices but I do enough of the time to continue to maintain my weight loss.

Alcohol

So ... things from 2012 have not resolved.  I'm a teensy bit embarrassed by what I'm doing and allowing but, not enough to make any changes because frankly we're both enabling each other and understand that its what we need right now to cope...

For Hubby: smoking.
For Me: wine.

Hubby smokes ALOT.  I have wine ALOT. We both hate each other's addictions but can't stop each other from doing what we're addicted to. :(

I have 2-5 glasses a night depending on the night.  I like the taste so much that suddenly I get to the point where I realize that I've had too much.

The last couple of weeks I've had enough (likely too much) and found myself wondering what happened the night before.  I've been having a few conversations lately where I do not remember what I said or what happened.  Unfortunately my dumbass hubby chooses to make fun of me when I don't remember instead of talking to me honestly or with concern. Turns out we've had alot of very good conversations that I do not remember at all... literally.  Apparently last night, we talked about not only an automatic reload of my starbucks account but also having my plastics early Nov.  I remember none of it.

It makes me a little scared to be honest.  That I am THAT affected by the few glasses of wine that I remember nothing scares me... My mom DIED at 39 as an alcoholic (I'm 36)... that behaviour scares me. Have I graduated to blacking out when I drink?


*cry*

Before and after WLS

Just wanted to post a piccie :)

Before taken on surgery day April 27, 2011
After(current) taken at my Christmas party Dec 15, 2012

2 months no posts! Wow, well guess what that means blog-world?

NOTHING is happening! That, in my case is a good thing I guess! I'm still blissfully happy I made my decision to go ahead with my surgery and coming up to a year in maintenance now. I hover between 135-138 (even when Aunt Flo is visiting!) and I'm perfectly happy here. I wear a size small-med shirts and size 4-6 pants.

Well one thing I guess has happened.... I decided finally today that I'm waiting until early 2014 to get my PS now. *sigh*

This year has too many things happening and I need to take more time to save for this and get my head in the right place to have a good solid recovery and be able to take the time off I will need from work in my position (management). I'm reading constantly online and learning as much as I possibly can. In the coming months I'm going to start a notepad of all the things I want to make sure I know or need to know based on the experiences of the group here so that I can be as prepared as I possibly can be.

I'm bummed though. I was really thinking I'd be among the Plastics veterans by this summer but its just not in the cards for me this year and that's ok but I'm disappointed anyway. Recovery worries me alot especially after reading the recent problems some have been having on one of the boards I frequent. Although I take alot of that with a grain of salt as I know everyone is going to have a different experience anyway. I know my VSG was pretty much a breeze (except for the allergic reaction to the bandages/tape) and I was back at work 6 days post op... others needed a month or more to feel ok to go back.

Living on the coast in BC has been wonderful. It's lovely here and so different from living on the Prairies.  Although, it's very weird to see so much green in the middle of winter where I'm used to seeing feet of snow and blisteringly cold temperatures.  It does rain, yes... but not nearly as depressing as they've made it out to be.  The sun peeks through every few days for a few hours, it rains on and off, sometimes hard, sometimes not, sometimes none.  I wear a light fall waterproof coat, not a woollen cap, gloves boots, scarf, massive winter coat.  I don't have to breathe into my scarf to breath warm air anymore.  My asthmatic lungs thank me for this move. :)

Nowadays I'm sure noone even reads my blog since I've not updated in so long but those that remember and peek in .... HI! Thanks for coming by!  I'll try to do a better job of posting at least monthly :)