Sunday, February 17, 2013
Alcohol
So ... things from 2012 have not resolved. I'm a teensy bit embarrassed by what I'm doing and allowing but, not enough to make any changes because frankly we're both enabling each other and understand that its what we need right now to cope...
For Hubby: smoking.
For Me: wine.
Hubby smokes ALOT. I have wine ALOT. We both hate each other's addictions but can't stop each other from doing what we're addicted to. :(
I have 2-5 glasses a night depending on the night. I like the taste so much that suddenly I get to the point where I realize that I've had too much.
The last couple of weeks I've had enough (likely too much) and found myself wondering what happened the night before. I've been having a few conversations lately where I do not remember what I said or what happened. Unfortunately my dumbass hubby chooses to make fun of me when I don't remember instead of talking to me honestly or with concern. Turns out we've had alot of very good conversations that I do not remember at all... literally. Apparently last night, we talked about not only an automatic reload of my starbucks account but also having my plastics early Nov. I remember none of it.
It makes me a little scared to be honest. That I am THAT affected by the few glasses of wine that I remember nothing scares me... My mom DIED at 39 as an alcoholic (I'm 36)... that behaviour scares me. Have I graduated to blacking out when I drink?
*cry*
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Hi, my name is Susan. I am a brand new follower of yours and I must say I love the fact that you are so REAL! I've been separated for about 7 months after an almost 19 year marriage. My whole life I've been a social drinker ONLY. Since I was married, I really did't get out much. Now I've been making all kinds of new friends and have been socializing A LOT. Needless to say, alcohol has been a big part of my diet lately, and its NOT helping! I think you and I need to start weaning ourselves off a little don't you think? Maybe we can start a little challenge or something. Challenges usually help me. I usually have 3-4 White Russians on Friday and Saturday nights. Occasionally, I'll go out on Tuesday night (Latin Night at the local night club). How bout we both stick to a 2 drink minimum for starters? Deal??
ReplyDeleteI wrote this big ol' response and it got deleted somehow. :( I'll try again in a bit, but the gist of it was, you're not alone, you can do it, lets decide to make better, healthier decisions that we can manage. Hang in there lady.
ReplyDeleteI think you should discuss this with your doctor.
ReplyDeleteI have not had the surgery. My relative was an alcoholic and addicted to smoking and died in her early seventies with very painful alcohol and smoking related complications.(too young). I too was frightened by her behavior and what happened to her so I stopped drinking entirely because I felt the potential of alcoholism for myself. Blacking out is not good. I still have a weight problem but I have not had alcohol for many many years and I never will. You might also want to consider attending some AA meetings. OA meetings are also good...the AA meetings can be more powerful though. There is no stigma and you can learn some very useful information there.
Also I just found this article which may be of interest.
Again, I really suggest talking to your doctor. You might also talk to a therapist...some work plans cover this. I don't know you and I am just giving you some options which may or may not be appropriate for you. You need to take care of yourself and make changes where necessary. All the best to you in your journey.
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2006/jul/25/addiction_transfer_seen_after_weightloss_surgery/?neapolitan
Thank you anonymous, I too have several family members that are/were alcoholics. My mother and her mother were among them and I watched that while growing up.
DeleteI have been very aware of my drinking since posting that and I do not let myself get there like I did months ago. I do not want to end my life with liver failure... not at all! I will talk to my doc and I am getting myself out of that decision making as well. I want to make it to my 90's!
Thank you soooooo much for your concern :)
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ReplyDelete