Confessions...

The last 2 month-ish has been hard. VERY hard. I've been having way too much wine. Way too often.

I'm fully aware that post-WLS transfer addictions are a serious problem.  I KNOW that I should be careful that I'm not among that statistic but right now, its what I've been using to cope with my stress ... moving to a new province away from what I know and taking a new job with added responsibility....  Wrong or right, its what's working for me right now to deal.  Stress has played a HUGE part in this and the method that I've chosen to do to deal with it.  Hubby and I have even enabled each other completely in this.  He's smoking, I'm drinking.  We're both fully aware of what we're doing and how much we dislike each other's choices but are willing to overlook them right now

We both know that this is something that we need to change but we've chosen to accept it for what it is and to try not to judge the other person.  We have yet to pick a "quit date" but it will be likely in the next week or so.

HELLLLLOOOOOO Burnaby, BC!!!!

Packers, loaders.... unloaders, unpackers... everything went well. We had a few small damages but overall its been a great move. We've unpacked & placed pretty much everything in the last 4 days since the unpackers left. Our home is starting to look like a HOME. We still ADORE our rooftop deck... like LOVE LOVE LOVE. Hubby has managed to make us a few friends and we're one of very few caucasians in the 2 bldgs. That's fine with us!!! We've already been invited to a house party in the next bldg and we're trying to get our neighbours on either side of us to agree to a rooftop party between our places (we can open the gates between all three places) ... that will be up to hubby ... he's the party coordinator 

Today was day 1 at my new office. I won't lie. I DID need my ativan at one point. I was shaking. JItterying... heart racing...

I hope that I can do better tomorrow since I'll know where I'm going and have a better handle on my team. I spent the day with them and my boss going over some of the coming changes and doing some triage with new business coming in. It wasn't a bad day considering I didn't have ANY computer or (technically) authority to make any decisions I was being asked to make.

I think that I did good. I just hope that the IT guy shows up and fixes my computer tomorrow so I can get a bunch of clearing out done and get things in order. THere's a lot to learn and having no real station, makes it harder!

A new chapter...

Sometimes in life you have to do what you're most scared of doing. Step out of your comfort zone...remember what you deserve and don't settle for anything less.  It's time to re-create myself and learn who I want to be/I am ... again.  Employee/peer/manager.... another cog/different cog in the wheel.

 Tomorrow is my last day!!!

I'm actually ready to move on RIGHT NOW. I spent ALL of today training my replacement and most of tomorrow will be the same.

I still have to pack the rest of the stuff at my desk and hubby is coming to pick it up and bring me my luggage as I go straight to Calgary from work on the bus starting at 430pm. Thursday/Friday I will be in Calgary doing management training with all the managers from Aviva Western Canada (eep... why am I so nervous!? I feel like a bit of a fraud actually going to this training!). While I'm gone to Calgary for training, the packers come Thursday, movers come Friday! Friday night 630pm I'm back on the bus back to Edmonton and Saturday morning we do the final inspection/hand over keys to our new (lease to own) tenant and we're off back to Calgary....

Itinerary:
Sat night Calgary, AB (3.5 hr drive)
Sunday Sicamous, BC (6 hr drive)
Monday Kelowna, BC (2 hr drive)
Tuesday Burnaby, BC ( 4.5 hrs to our new home!)


Next few days will be STRESS mixed with excitement! So much to do, so little time!

Burnin pain ... continued...

After my last post, someone asked if it was my gallbladder.  I immediately discounted it as I had read the pain is on the right side and into the back... but after talking to a girl at work who had her gallbladder out 2 weeks ago and reading online... I think that there is actually a really good chance it was my gallbladder.

Gallbladder issues are relatively common post WLS and I was warned to watch for it but when I went to the hospital they didn't even bring it up even when I said that I'd had WLS and lost so much weight.

When I talked to the girl at work she said for her it didn't matter if the food was overly fatty or greasy, sometimes her gallbladder would act up when she ate too much. I did eat too much that night. I know I did. I was burping like mad. The stuffed mushroom was so good that my mouth kept wanting to finish the rest of it and I had 2 bites too many and was rather uncomfortable the rest of the evening from over-eating so its possible it brought it on. When I showed her where my pain was and explained how it felt she was nodding the whole time telling me that's just how hers felt and that I should get an ultrasound to check it.

I guess that's something to look forward to when I get to Vancouver!

Burnin pain

Rough day.  I was woken this morning at 2am with intense sharp pain in my tummy.  The burning pain continued for hours before i finally gave up and went in to the urgent care. They have no idea why I have this pain.  The doc palpated my abdomen, they took pee, blood and X-rays.  Nothing.  All he commented was that my xiphoid was swollen.  They gave me pantaloc and a maalox/anesthetic mix to drink that numbed my throat and sent me on my way with a script for a month of pantaloc.  I admit that this morning I was afraid I had a leak.  A year out a leak would  be damn near impossible but the pain was right where sleevie sits and I was scared.  They assured me I had no leak, no ulcers, no hernias... just this unknown pain.  I'm hanging out napping and dealing with moderate burning in my gut now and am afraid to put anything in me for fear it will make it hurt again.  I know I need to eat though... but I'm scared it will make it worse.

New bloodwork results!

 

GREAT NEWS!! For those that didn't see my FB... I just had new blood work done last week.

My iron went from 17 to 47 with the injections! WOOT... Doc still wants it over 50 but this is awesome  I can definitely tell the injections were working, my energy has increased tenfold and WAY less dizzy issues

My Vit D is still lower than she wants but everyone in Canada is low in Vit D so I just have to double my Vit D dose and I should get that up easy.

Step ONE to our MOVE!!

Tomorrow we come to Vancouver to find a place to live.

I'm freakin out.




Pray we find a place to love live....

1 YEAR!!

TODAY IS MY SLEEVE-VERSARY!!!

1 year I've been rocking my sleeve and regained my love and zest of life!  I feel amazing!

My highest weight ever was 245 (around 2004), surgery day I was 223 lbs.

Today I am 132 lbs and living the maintain lifestyle! 


My single regret about my surgery?


NOT DOING THIS SOONER!!!!

If you're thinking about this surgery, do your research, ask questions, send me a message.... I will help any way I can!  This is about YOU, YOUR HEALTH, and the rest of your life.  Which will be longer because you will be healthier without that extra weight on your body!  Do it!!

I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight

I'm planning our going away/goodbye party.  I'm watching people around me here experience exciting new challenges, my best friend's daughter growing up, my brothers, my sisters.... I think about all of them and how much I'm going to miss in their lives.  I know that we don't see each other here as much as we should/I'd like to... but now that I'm leaving this province it just feels so very final.    I know that this move is what's best for us (Hubby and I) and our lives and we're going to have a great life but every now and then nostalgia hits me and I'm drawn into a feeling of loss and sadness for what I will miss not living in the city I was born in.  That I grew up in. That everyone I know and love is in. And that I KNOW inside and out.

I'm nervous and scared and excited and sad and worried all at once.  What a range of emotions I'm experiencing as the date grows near.  A month... a mere month until we are literally on our own.  Just the 2 of us (and Bailie) .... in a city we have only visited a few times, in an office I've never been in, with people I don't know, in a position I'm scared the shit out of.

Tell me I can do this.  Even if I don't believe you.  Tell me I can because tonight, I'm FREAKING THE HECK OUT.

Much of it likely is because hubby is really being an ass tonight and its making me lonely for the life I'll be missing.  *sigh*

Latest.... April 2012

I know I haven't been around in the last couple of weeks.  Sorry :((((((   (my version of a HUGE sad face)

Things that are new... lets see....

I've really been working out the last few weeks and I'm feeling really good and strong these days.  My iron issues may be working themselves out... I still have another set of bloodwork to get through but its looking better.  I feel more energetic in the last few weeks since I've finished my iron injections and been taking Cyklokapron during my cycle to reduce the bleeding during my cycle.  I'm hoping they're doing the trick as I really feel that this isn't something that is going to get better with high iron foods.

Time is ticking by with our move to BC.  We're about a month away now.  Thankfully we've managed to unload one of our homes by doing rent to own and we're hoping for an offer to purchase on the other this week coming up.  I'm a little stressed as I've accepted the Manager position in the branch in Vancouver and I'm nervous about the changes.  A new home, new province, new branch.. and new job.  It's a lot!

I've lost another pound in the last few weeks.  I'm ok with it as it's only a pound and its happened in the same amount of time that I've been working out so its not that bad.  I'm still hoping I don't reach the 120's though.  I'm currently at 132 lbs.



Lastly....




I seriously love www.bariatrictv.com

They are hilarious and informative!! Check it out!