grrr

I thankfully didn't let a jerkazz trainer ruin my resolve tonight.

A new trainer called me last night to book me in for a free session with him to see if I wanted to continue my training sessions with him.  We confirmed that we'd meet at the training desk at 6pm tonight.

At 615 I went down to the main desk and basically said...  should I expect Chris (trainer)  to be late for every training session I pay him for since he couldn't make it to this one, the FIRST one with a new client?

The girl at the desk advised me that he'd called in that he wouldn't be in.  WTF... and why the hell did he not think that perhaps ME as the client he went to the point of calling at home last night MIGHT need to know so I wasn't driving like a crazy person to get there on time just to find out I didn't have to????

I was fuming.  As I recall it, I'm fuming again.  One thing that makes me so so so angry is having someone waste my time.  He had the time to call the gym but not to call his client?  I'm sorry but I don't give a shit... someone could have called me.  My old trainer would have, I expect the same from the new trainer.

I was mad enough that I nearly cancelled my gym membership then and there.   I decided to instead of leaving while angry (which would be my normal response) I worked some of my anger off on the treadmill for a half hour.  I felt better after although I'm no less ready to fire his ass.  I don't know yet what I will do.  He's broken my trust already and I need to be able to trust him to have him as my trainer. 

I don't know yet whether I will continue to train with him after this.  I welcome any levity, authors of common sense or general tomfoolery.

For the scale addict in all of us

I found this... somewhere. I can't remember where. Hopefully it wasn't here on a friends blogger feed because I'll feel like an idiot but my memory is shit lately.

Anyway I think they're great articles about scale addiction and how (literally) the same person looks like at the same weight with and without exercise.

It's the sole reason I'm back at the gym.

http://primitivestimulus.com/2011/03...scale-addicts/

http://everydaypaleo.com/2011/06/22/...ddicts-part-2/

The time has come

I have an appt with a new trainer.  TONIGHT.

No point in putting it off any longer.  I NEED to get moving and I need the motivation a trainer provides me because I have none.  As I near the weight I was a year ago before I regained it all again, I realize the differences in my body this time around.   Last time I was working out like crazy and pumping weights and it showed.  I was lean and super tight and sexay... now, I'm loose and jiggly at nearly the same weight.

Time to get some of my muscle back.  I remember this path from once before.  It's a painful one but one full of self worth and accomplishment.  And I'm worth it.

The scale has lost its hold on me!

I just realized this morning that I haven't had the urge to weigh myself in over a week!  I was getting on pretty much daily since my surgery.  I see the difference in my clothing and I can feel the difference in my body so I know that I'm losing still but frankly, I might just move to only weighing at my 1 month mark from now on.  It's so liberating to not have that scale addiction!

10 WLS commandments

Found this online.  Love it, stole it for my blog to remember it.  I'm guilty of some of these items occasionally :)

1^st Mistake:Not Taking Vitamins, Supplements, or Minerals
Every WLS patient has specific nutritional needs depending on the type of surgery you have had. Not only is it a good idea to ask your surgeon for guidelines, but also consult with an experienced WLS nutritionist. Understand there is not a standard practice that all surgeons and nutritionists follow in guiding WLS patients. So, it is important to do your own research, get your lab tests done regularly, and learn how to read the results. Some conditions and symptoms that can occur when you are deficient in vitamins, supplements, or minerals include: Osteoporosis; pernicious anemia; muscle spasms; high blood pressure; burning tongue; fatigue; loss of appetite; weakness; constipation and diarrhea; numbness and tingling in the hands and feet; being tired, lethargic, or dizzy; forgetfulness, and lowered immune functioning. Keep in mind, too, that some conditions caused by not taking your vitamins, supplements, or minerals are irreversible.

2^nd Mistake:Assuming You Have Been Cured of Your Obesity  
A "pink cloud" or honeymoon experience is common following WLS. When you are feeling better than you have in years, and the weight is coming off easily, it's hard to imagine you will ever struggle again. But unfortunately, it is very common for WLS patients to not lose to their goal weight or to regain some of their weight back. A small weight regain may be normal, but huge gains usually can be avoided with support, education, effort, and careful attention to living a healthy WLS lifestyle. For most WLSers, if you don't change what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten -- even after weight loss surgery.

3^rd Mistake: Drinking with Meals 
Yes, it's hard for some people to avoid drinking with meals, but the tool of not drinking with meals is a critical key to long-term success. If you drink while you eat, your food washes out of your stomach much more quickly, you can eat more, you get hungry sooner, and you are at more risk for snacking. Being too hungry is much more likely to lead to poor food choices and/or overeating.

4^th Mistake:Not Eating Right
Of course everyone should eat right, but in this society eating right is a challenge. You have to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Eat all your meals--don't skip. Don't keep unhealthy food in sight where it will call to you all the time. Try to feed yourself at regular intervals so that you aren't as tempted to make a poor choice. And consider having a couple of absolutes: for example, avoid fried foods completely, avoid sugary foods, always use low-fat options, or only eat in a restaurant once a week. Choose your "absolutes" based on your trigger foods and your self knowledge about what foods and/or situations are problematic for you.

5^th Mistake:Not Drinking Enough Water 
Most WLS patients are at risk for dehydration. Drinking a minimum of 64 oz. of water per day will help you avoid this risk. Adequate water intake will also help you flush out your system as you lose weight and avoid kidney stones. Drinking enough water helps with your weight loss, too.

6^th Mistake:Grazing 
Many people who have had WLS regret that they ever started grazing, which is nibbling small amounts here and there over the course of the day. It's one thing to eat the three to five small meals you and your doctor agree you need. It's something else altogether when you start to graze, eating any number of unplanned snacks. Grazing can easily make your weight creep up. Eating enough at meal time, and eating planned snacks when necessary, will help you resist grazing. Make a plan for what you will do when you crave food, but are not truly hungry. For example, take up a hobby to keep your hands busy or call on someone in your support group for encouragement.

7^th Mistake:Not Exercising Regularly 
Exercise is one of the best weapons a WLS patient has to fight weight regain. Not only does exercise boost your spirits, it is a great way to keep your metabolism running strong. When you exercise, you build muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories your body will burn, even at rest!

8^th Mistake:Eating the Wrong Carbs (or Eating Too Much)
Let's face it, refined carbohydrates are addictive. If you eat refined carbohydrates they will make you crave more refined carbohydrates. There are plenty of complex carbohydrates to choose from, which have beneficial vitamins. For example, if you can handle pastas, try whole grain Kamut pasta--in moderation, of course. (Kamut pasta doesn't have the flavor some people find unpleasant in the whole wheat pastas.) Try using your complex carbohydrates as "condiments," rather than as the center point of your meal. Try sprinkling a tablespoon of brown rice on your stir-fried meat and veggies.

9^th Mistake: Going Back to Drinking Soda 
Drinking soda is controversial in WLS circles. Some people claim soda stretches your stomach or pouch. What we know it does is keep you from getting the hydration your body requires after WLS--because when you're drinking soda, you're not drinking water! In addition, diet soda has been connected to weight gain in the general population. The best thing you can do is find other, healthier drinks to fall in love with. They are out there.

10^th Mistake:Drinking Alcohol 
If you drank alcohol before surgery, you are likely to want to resume drinking alcohol following surgery. Most surgeons recommend waiting one year after surgery. And it is in your best interest to understand the consequences of drinking alcohol before you do it. Alcohol is connected with weight regain, because alcohol has 7 calories per gram, while protein and vegetables have 4 calories per gram. Also, some people develop an addiction to alcohol after WLS, so be very cautious. Depending on your type of WLS, you may get drunker, quicker after surgery, which can cause health problems and put you in dangerous situations. If you think you have a drinking problem, get help right away. Putting off stopping drinking doesn't make it any easier, and could make you a lot sicker

Nervous for nothing

I've been dreading a family function recently.  I'm still pretty new in the post-op phases really and very unsure as to how I wanted to handle telling people that I've had WLS.  ESPECIALLY my family.

It was my gma's 75th and my dad's 57th birthday party on Sunday (Sept 4).  Much of the family that I haven't seen at all this year (and since I was over 220 lbs) would be commenting on my weight loss... this I know.  They've seen me lose and regain many many times over the years so I was prepared for the latest barrage of questions and comments. What I wasn't prepared for was the unbeliveable support!

Up until (literally) the drive to the restaurant I was still deciding if I should tell them or just stick to my work response of "medically supervised diet".  I finally came to the conclusion that if anyone should understand how hard its been for me, it would be them.  So I decided even if they judged me for it, I didn't care and that I was feeling too good (having just broke into the 160's...yay!) to have them affect my mood.

So I told anyone who asked.  At one point, most of the people in the room were listening as I recounted my surgery experience and a few were interested in possibly pursing it themselves!  I received support like I didn't expect and some family may make this journey along with me.

In short, I'm happy I chose my sleeve.  I'm happier yet that I chose to start telling people in my life about it.  I'm still uncomfortable with my work knowning though... because its none of their damn business mostly but also because its not up to them to decide if I required that surgery for sick leave post-op or not.  A medical doctor said I needed leave for at least a week, so I had leave for a week and I have the dr note to prove it. :)

4 months!

I had a great NSV last night.

I went to a seminar on Minding Stress and its affect on weight. It's put on by the Weight Wise program here and there are many people in the program that are going through the modules for possible approval for bariatric surgery to be paid for by the province. I was paired up with this obviously uncomfortable woman that was hugely obese. We talked about what stresses us out and how we react to it... specifically how our eating changes as we react to it. When I gave my answer about how I use comfort foods like mashed potates, pot pies (etc) she said "yeah well, you're so skinny so it doesn't matter how you eat".



She didn't know me from a whole in the wall and she thought I was "skinny". Yay!

I explained that I'd already had my bariatric surgery and I was 50 lbs down so far. She said how she'd been talking to the psychologist about it and didn't understand how he could say that post op she could become MORE depressed. I explained that you really can. You mourn food and you have to develop a new relationship with food so you don't make yourself sick. You have to be willing to understand that with this surgery comes the understanding that you will never visit a buffet again, you will never finish a normal sized meal again (let alone a restaurant sized one) and that counting calories, low fat, and the food guide no longer applies to you.

It's a HUGE change and one that requires that you're fully prepared for it... mentally and emotionally. She thanked me, she hadn't realized that. I was pleased to be able to give my experience to a possible future bariatric patient from another patient's perspective instead of just the doctors telling her what she should/shouldn't do.

REACHED!

Yay! I was hoping I'd reach my goal of 50 lbs down before the 27th  (4 month WLS anniversary). I did!

My next major goal is to see 149 lbs. I wanted to see the '40's so bad last time I lost weight and I could just never get there. So that's my next major goal with my ultimate goal being 135 lbs


I'm pretty happy with myself. The best thing about this sleeve is that while anyone can lose weight on 600 cal a day, the sleeve can save me from myself by not allowing me to binge and overeat in a moment of weakness/emotion/frustration etc.

I'm going to do something I hate doing.  I'm making a goal. 
I want to be down 50 lbs by my 4 month date.  Which is next weekend.  3 pounds to go. 

I'm not doing anything to make it happen but I'm going to try and focus more on protein and cut the carbies back a bit.  Calories aren't an issue at all as I'm still struggling to get in more than 600 a day. 

Today for breakfast, I couldn't even finish half of a packaged oatmeal.  It's amazing and frustrating all at the same time.  I'm feeling really good though.  My bloodwork was stellar, my energy is coming back and I haven't started losing my hair yet so I might be one of the lucky ones that doesn't.  Fingers crossed!