First visit with my PCP

So I had my first appointment with my PCP yesterday.  She was never aware that I decided to have this surgery, let alone that it was in Mexico.  She had referred me to the Weight Wise program where bariatric surgery was a possibility at some point, but was surprised to hear that I did self pay. As I have had some issues with concentration, memory and focus lately I wanted to get all my vitamin levels (etc) checked to see where I'm at.  She's also getting my glucose checked to see where I'm at there.  I was pre-pre diabetic when she last checked so it will be interesting to see where all my levels are now.

Interestingly, she was fine with the fact that I chose to do this surgery.  She was unhappy/unthrilled/whatever that it was in MEXICO *gasp*  Actually.  She really did literally gasp.  I brushed it off.  I read that as ignorance to the care that you get in Mexico and made sure she knew that I had great care and was really happy with my surgeon and the facilities.  She was really happy with the weight I've lost  (40 lbs as of yesterday  woot woot!) and is happy to see I'm also off my anti-depressants at this point.  She did mention that the issues I'm having COULD actually be related to the depression (I have PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, also mental health issues run in my family) but time will tell if that comes back up in the future.   It will be monitored closely, of course.  If necessary, I will go back on them but I'd rather not as it was helpful in my weight regain and subsequent deeper depression so I'd like to not go down that road again if I don't have to.

Friend Makin Monday: How much weight have you lost?

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section at: http://www.alltheweigh.com/ so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: How Much Weight Have You Lost?  And what have you gained from losing it? (If you’re participating in FMM – and you’re not on a weight-loss journey, tell us about a powerful change you’ve made in your life!)

This time around:  I've lost 39 pounds so far.  I'm learning how to eat to live and eat the things my body needs.  I'm learning how to really listen to the cues my body is giving me and ignore the demons of head hunger.  My confidence is slowly returning and I'm not taking anything for granted this time around.  This truly IS the LAST TIME I'M LOSING WEIGHT!



Now it’s your turn!  Tell us about the changes you’ve experienced in your own life! And don’t forget to come back and link up! Happy Monday friends!!!

pharmaceutical intervention

or better known as :"I am full of shit"

I hadn't gone to the bathroom for a full week and while I eat so little so its not as distressing...  I didn't have that lump/rock feeling in my belly, I certainly wasn't feeling very good.

I had to take a laxative.  I HATE taking laxatives beacuse they hit me so hard but I definitely feel better afterwards.

And I lost 2 pounds.  lol

Weight Wise Module 2

I went to my 2nd module on Thursday night.  It's been a little busy and I haven't been able to blog about it until now but I am super excited!!

The module was about nutrtition and the guy teaching it was a nurse for the program.  He mentioned some really interesting stuff that I needed to ask him about when we finished for the evening.  I told him about my struggles with weight loss over the years and the most recent gain (after a 70 lb loss) that led me to my choice of the VSG surgery.  He was talking about a test that can measure your BMR.  A test they do that ACCURATELY measures it!  It takes an hour or so to do the test but at the end you will know how much your own body can burn in a day which can help greatly with weight loss.  He said they don't do this test for just anyone... you need to show a marked interest and compliance with journalling your food and such before they would do it. 

Anyway, I told him I had the surgery.  He asked where and when I told him he was impressed!  He said he had seen the images of the Jerusalem Clinic and even knew Dr Almanza's name!  He asked who my followup care was being provided by and I told him that I hadn't even told my PCP yet that I'd had the surgery and that I was hoping the Weight Wise program's dieticians etc would be able to be my followup care.  He told me that they are for pre-op care and would be unable to help me as a post-op.  For a moment I was bummed... and then he said... what you need is ME!  Wahoo!  He's agreed to be my post op nurse for my followup.  I told him about my focus, fatigue etc and he wants me to get my bloodwork done.  I already had an appt for this coming Tues to tell my PCP about my surgery and have her order my bloodwork.  He said he would even talk to my PCP about my surgery and help me out there.

Thursday night was a good night!! 

A wee bit o' nervousity

In a week and a half, I have to go out of town (on the road to northern BC) for 4 days.  I'm a little concerned as to how I'm going to get my meals in me and not be in pain, nauseous, or simply just not eating for a few days.  It's a work trip so I'm at a cross roads... no one in the group going knows I've had this surgery.  I'm not really sure how to handle it.

Of those that read my blog and travel with others that don't know... I'd really appreciate some coping skills here...

Dehydration

Water is still a problem for me.  I'm trying but I've never been good at getting my water in... even pre-op.  Unless I could guzzle a bottle or 2, I didn't get in my water for the day.  Anytime I try to get my water in, I'm met with nausea so it makes me loathe to try.

Well its been my undoing the last few days.  I KNOW my water intake lately has been very poor, especially over the last few days.  Bad enough that I've managed to get myself a decent migraine and I've been in bed for 2 days laying in the dark.  No sound, no light... and no sleep either because of the pain.  I've been so bored.  Even the light from my cell phone to check on my facebook has been too much for me to handle.

I've increased my water intake alot today and its making a difference where even a percocet didn't help. 

My bad.  ok ok, I know.... I will try harder to get my water in!

Frustration

Sometimes I need to stay away from the bulletin boards.  It frustrates me to see when people are posting about pain or some complication they might have asking for what they should do to a bunch of people online instead of calling their doctor.

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.  Nor, does anyone else on these multitude of BB's out there!  I might piss some people off so I try to not respond to those threads because they get my blood up.  I'm not immune to questions of experiences of others going through the journey but come on, if you have PAIN -  CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!!! Don't wait for someone in a faceless land of the internetz determine your physical health!

argh. I think I need a time-out

Goals

Goal setting has always been scary for me.  In the past, I've either hit my goals for a very brief period, or I've not hit them at all.  Fear of failure makes me loathe to try goal setting again.  But, I know that it gives me something to aim towards and I know the sense of accomplishment I felt when I reached the 199, 190 and 189 goals.

So, I'm changing my ticker.

The last time I lost weight (2 years ago) I got to 152 lbs.  I was trying so hard to see the 140's.  So, my goal is 149.  When I get to 149, I will re-assess my goal down to the 130.  But for now, instead of focusing on all that distance between 130-149, I'm going to just focus on 149.

My weight loss seems to come in spurts.  I won't lose anything for about a week or so, then I lose a few pounds.  I'm not going to stress it.  I wish it would come off more consistently but it doesn't, so it doesn't.  This isn't a race.

heavenly smells

My favourite smell in the whole wide world is baking bread.

Every day I take the commuter train to work and I walk through pedways to get to my office tower downtown.  I have to pass a store on my way called "Press'd" that sells sandwiches and soups.  My salivary glands are now relating where I am in the pedways like Pavlov's dog does to the bell.   I get to a certain point in the pedway and even though I can't yet smell the fresh baking breads, my mouth is suddenly salivating at the soon to smell yummy goodness.

It's a bittersweet position since I don't eat that stuff anymore and frankly really... I physically couldn't.  I LOVE the smell though and savour it every single morning.

ahhhh

2 Month Results!